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Submitted on
April 13, 2008
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I want to get lost inside myself
In the wraths of my twisted thoughts
In the warped, tempestuous intestines
That relentlessly attempt to purify,
In the acid that burns my stomach lining
In the veins that carry putrid blood
In the pumping of a heart
That has battled heartache and betrayal.

I want to get lost inside myself
Enter the pores that lead to oblivion
Watch the bacteria form,
Ally myself with the germs fighting an endless battle,
Surround myself with the cells
That mechanically follow the path laid before them.

I want to get lost inside myself
Through the paths of an all too twisted brain
In the eyes that have seen too much
In the mouth that delivers lies and delusions
In the kidneys that can't take one more coffee,
One more energy drink, one more ounce of caffeine.

I want to get lost inside myself
In the vagina that has stubbornly welcomed too many strangers
In the smoke-filled lungs that house too many cigarettes
In the ocean of a liver that has yet to break down the last chardonnay
In the countless attempts to escape.

I want to get lost inside myself
Because effort has proved futile
Because reality hasn't permitted escape
Because my body promises to be a shelter of all that is good
Of all that is holy
Of all that is right.
My body promises a home,
Perverse and demented like me.

I just want--I just need to get lost
and my only hope
resides within a body that i have damaged,
that I have slowly killed,
a process that through loyal dedication
has left me with one last hope for escape.
a little warped and twisted..
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